To liberate. There is a lot of weight attached to this infinitive. BIG events come to mind, like Moses and the Hebrews’ exodus from Egypt or the African American civil rights movement of the 1950s and 60s. After all, “to liberate” is to “set free, set at liberty; to free, release from (something).” That is straight up according to the OED.
Liberation is mighty. Liberation is major. It changes lives and transforms worlds. Therefore, it is counter-intuitive to recognize that as a woman, shaving one’s head also falls into this realm.
But it does.
Allow me to demonstrate. Recently, I had the great honor of shaving my friend, Monica’s hair, (down to a number 4 for those keeping track). Having shaved off my own hair twice (and then halfway for a third time when I got my mohawk), I was seriously energized and excited to share in another woman’s experience. So, in the middle of my brother’s apartment, in the midst of a party, we brought the razor out and began.
You could tell she was nervous, and who wouldn’t be? Almost every male around her was discouraging it. Their reasoning? In their eyes, her beauty was on the line. Her femininity was at stake. Her cultural perception and social acceptance were about to be radically twisted. In those minutes I heard more than one too many lesbian jokes. And, way too many negative comments. I don’t care about the honesty. I love honest opinions. I care about the way in which they were honest. It was frustrating to the point of anger. Poor Monica, surrounded by friends and not one guy offering support. None of those guys chose to stand up and be a man. They were all boys choosing to let market-driven media shape their definition of womanhood and beauty. Instead of living in this world, they were being of it. I do not condemn them, but I will judge them.
To my utmost appreciation, there were several real men present at the party who recognized that hair is only hair, and Monica’s choice should be respected. They understood that personal growth and learning trumped head-turning any day.
When the deed was done, many guys continued to be immature boys. Monica took it so gracefully. (While I continued to be livid in their direction). The comments I was hearing were too similar to ones I had heard aimed my direction last spring when I shaved my own head. Being “unbeautiful,” or “not looking like a girl” was everyone’s biggest concern. But, she looked amazing. She really did. And she isn’t a girl, but a woman, as her conduct that night revealed. Plus, this is so much bigger than appearances. This is about challenging the world to redefine stereotypes. This is about acknowledging diversity in beauty. This is about making a statement. It’s about encouraging free expression. If shaving one’s head makes one unbeautiful, it isn’t worth having long hair. That kind of beauty is so blind to integration of body and soul. This is about female liberation. Even if that liberation is routed in freeing oneself from the hair on top of one’s head.
I was not with Moses, nor was I alive in the 50s or 60s for such civil rights movements. But, I proudly live in solidarity with Monica. I dare to say that shaving my head has been the most liberating event of my 18 years of life. And, the OED recognizes this; an alternate definition equates "to liberate" as to "free from social or male-dominated, etc., conventions."
Monica, congratulations, we are free of this convention. We are demanding more from our men and from our culture. We are liberated women.
Monica, a proud and beautiful woman dancing in her new 'do.
"Joy is the best makeup" --Anne Lamott
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